She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
