Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
