You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
