so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
