I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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