Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
