Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
