So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
