Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
