Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
