cat food counts as protein by the way
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I am available for nakedness
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
