i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
