Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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