Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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