We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
