I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
