Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
