You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This is the high leading the old right now
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
