69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize