in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
