I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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