dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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