A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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