Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
