Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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