i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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