what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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