Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
