I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have demons in me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There r osticjed everywhere
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
