he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
