dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
