Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
