please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Be still, my beating vagina.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
