I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
