And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize