It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
