i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
