Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
