My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
