I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
