i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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