the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
