But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What a dumb baby whore.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize