HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
