once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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