Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
