lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
