dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
