If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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