I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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