Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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