Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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