About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
