ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
