i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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