You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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