Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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