they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
They took my balls.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
