I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize