I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
