Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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