everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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