btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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