I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
