i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize